GLENDALE, AZ—Responding to leaked video footage of a dipsomaniac ape shoving a dancer and throwing a bottle of Dom Pérignon during a associate patron, authorities reliable Wednesday that a Phoenix Suns Gorilla was concerned in a late-night rumpus during a Essex Gentlemen’s Club. “He was flattering martial all night. At around 1 in a morning, they finally called a military after he knocked a man out and afterwards pulled a blade on a confidence guard,” pronounced an unknown frame bar patron, who removed a moving impulse when Gorilla brandished a T-shirt gun and threatened one of a bartenders for watering down his drinks. “I knew something was about to go down when he initial called one of a girls ‘a bitch’ for walking divided from him. He was there with a integrate other mascots, and whenever he gets together with Basket The Bobcat and Big Red, we know they’re gonna get into trouble. They don’t meant most harm, though once they cocktail a few bottles and start busting out a trampolines, things can get out of palm fast.” At press time, Gorilla deleted all mentions of a Phoenix Suns on his amicable media amid reports that a group was looking to trade him.